Mom plus commune equals ‘mommune’ – and this is a hot new living trend being seen throughout the world.
With the rising costs of living, taxing demands of work, and a desperate need for single moms to enjoy support from, and friendships with, other moms, communal living appears to be the answer.
Many are even taking this trend to social media platforms like TikTok, praising it as the all-in-one answer to a number of their struggles.
It has been described as the key to single parenting, after all, moms get to raise their children in safe spaces with other single moms, and help each other out with this responsibility. The children also get to grow up with others. Household chores and living costs are shared, and moms get to really experience the village in ‘it takes a village’.
@illdoitlaterrrr #mommunes #singlemoms ♬ Cool Kids (our sped up version) - Echosmith
As popular as the mommune concept is globally – with the trend being covered in major print and broadcast media, it does not seem to have yet made an obvious appearance on the South African property scene, But Yael Geffen, chief executive of Lew Geffen Sotheby’s International Realty, is well aware of its existence.
“It was music to my ears as I, myself, am a single mom and have been talking about this concept for a few years with my other single mom friends. It’s really tough doing it all alone, and the fact that there is a space for this concept, a supportive village, is such a win.”
@heatherhopetv I’ve heard of #communes but not a #MomMune 🤔 3 Moms each with their own kids move in together and share all the Household chores #dinner #cleaning #parenting #laundry 🧺 #Mom #ABC #Children #kids #Mother #divorce #CoParenting #home #RealEstate #MomMunes ♬ original sound - HeatherHOPEtv
Citing data from the United States census in 2022, Geffen says there are approximately 10.9 million single parents in the country, 80% of which are single mothers. And she believes the stats “must be very similar” in South Africa. Thus, such communal living would “absolutely” benefit single moms here.
“We used to be raised in ‘villages’ – or close communities – which, for the most part, do not exist anymore...Covid showed single mothers how isolated they really were and it created a space where moms wanted more resources, more assistance with the care-taking, and the creation of a community with like-minded moms.”
She adds that mommunes also allow space and time for self-care “because, when you are doing it all, there is no time for that”.
Taking it even further, Geffen feels that, just as with student or retirement accommodation, there is a place for specific mommune developments.
“I think there is such a need and space for this worldwide, and whoever gets behind this in South Africa is backing a goldmine because we are craving community and support now more than ever.
“And, with the interest rate hikes, spiralling consumer inflation, and load shedding, living in South Africa has become very expensive for families in general. Now consider the world of single moms – the stress and pressure on finances is immense as well as the lack of resources.”
A critical factor to consider, however, is the safety of the children living in such mommunes. Moms should also have similar parenting styles.
“I would see it working as small living clusters first, as opposed to a big building. Three to four single mom families max would probably be the sweet spot; preferably moms you know well and trust,” she says.
Like Geffen, Richard Gray, chief executive of Harcourts SA, believes that communal living would “absolutely” benefit single moms in the country. In fact, he thinks it “makes so much sense”.
“When one looks at the challenges of single parenting (costs, time demands, security) this would help tremendously. Single parents would get the benefits of couples in terms of being able to share appliances (washing machines, TVs), share services (cleaners, garden services) and split the rent and levies.
“It would also allow for sharing the responsibilities of dropping children at school, and fetching them etcetera, where they could adapt their times according to their work hours. It would really be a great help for single parents with only children where those children would have ‘siblings’ to help them with their social development and to keep them company.”
Although there is no data to support a growing trend in mommunes, Just Property chief executive Paul Stevens, says there has been increased activity in shared living spaces.
“We have long seen intergenerational living. Stats SA reports in its General Household Survey, 2021 that the largest percentage of households contained two generations (42.1%), while 13.6% contained three generations, and 4.6% could be considered skip-generation households where grandparents lived with their grandchildren.
“Our leases can accommodate multiple tenants and the rental of individual rooms in properties, so we are geared for mommunes.”
He too feels that the concept makes sense, “particularly when one considers the potential savings and increased security that this type of communal living may offer”.
“These challenges are top of mind for many South Africans, and single mothers in particular.”
Corky Kirby of Tyson Properties South Coast in KZN, says this is a “brilliant” co-living concept that would be beneficial in so many ways.
“Many single mothers need to be budget-savvy, and sharing household expenses would definitely help. For those moms whose own families do not live close by, it would also help to share the childcare responsibilities – from school pick-ups to cooking dinners.
“Of course, the mommune residents could meet long-term partners and move out, so I would recommend having written agreements in place for notice periods.”
In addition to the shared costs, childcare responsibilities, and friendships among the children, Francois du Toit, Tyson Properties’ director in Johannesburg, says moms will also get support and friendship from the other women in the mommune.
@beachykefer Shoulda moved into a Mommune a long time ago. Support system like no other. 🥰 #mommune #fyp #singlemom #singlemomlife #foryou #divorcetok ♬ out of the question - Maya Wagner
“In the current economic climate, we are seeing more and more cases of mommunes, where moms move in together and share living expenses,” du Toit says.
“It really does take a village to raise a child and we do see quite a bit of this, especially within families...With the escalating costs of living and the need for a support structure, it is becoming more attractive, and I expect to see this trend grow in the future.”
Citing data, he says about 42% of South African children live in single mother-led homes, and so the mommune concept is “a great support system on all levels”.
“The real benefit is often the combined income that enables these mothers to provide a better or bigger property/unit size/lifestyle for their children and improve everybody’s quality of life. The shared income benefit goes a lot further than the savings on rent or the bond – there are additional savings on food, and utilities such as water and electricity. Of course, this does not begin to touch on the emotional support of the mommunes when school runs and sick children come into play.”
The key to this living trend being a success though, Gray says, would obviously be to ensure that, like any couple, moms are well-matched, and have common value systems and views on discipline within the household.
“I would also suggest that it would be very important to have a very clear contract drawn up. For example, what happens in the case when it just isn’t working out and one party wants to exit the mommune? Who pays for what? What happens if someone doesn’t pay their way? These would all have to be carefully considered.”