I was never one for camping. The last time I tried it, I couldn't sleep or wash and I nearly succumbed to hypothermia. You can get the same effect by falling in a ditch on your way home from the pub.
But I'm told music festivals such as Glastonbury have gone posh. They have pre-erected tents with dinner tables and butlers and, for the truly rich, those Hollywood trailers that extend at the side until they're bigger than a London flat. But mostly, there are lots and lots of camper vans.
If you go to these events often, you've probably considered buying your own camper. On the face of it, it makes sense. It doesn't take up much more of your driveway than a station wagon, it's there all year round and on a sunny day you can take it down to the nearest beach.
The problem is, it'll cost you. This powerful, specced-up version costs R543 700 (in SA). You could get a serious Merc for that but more importantly you could get a bigger, better-equipped motorhome - it just wouldn't be from a manufacturer you recognise. And let's face it, this is all about the VW badge.
It's 60 years since Volkswagen started building camper vans and in that time no other manufacturer has tried it (all other campers are conversions). But look at it without rose-tinted hippy glasses and this is just a modified Transporter, the van builders use - which you can get for less than R300 000.
So what do you get for your extra dosh, apart from windows?
Well, most human needs are covered inside: there's a tiny fridge, a tiny sink, a tiny stove, but no oven - so souffle is off the menu. There's a small table with two chairs hidden in the rear door, but don't expect to hang your ballgown in the wardrobe as it's about 30cm high.
You've got to admire the neat, German way everything fits together and stows away. There are no sharp edges, rattling or clanging - the sliding side door electrically latches itself closed. Push a button and the roof rises to make a top deck that sleeps two, a nice touch - although anyone with middle-age spread ought to stick to the folding double bed on the ground floor.
There's a retractable awning over one to shelter you from the blazing sun - or freezing rain. You can get accessories such as cooking sets and towel rails, but the cool stuff is up front. That's where you feel the benefits of a camper built in 2010: satnav, iPod connection, heatable seats, hands-free phone, parking and blind-spot sensors... they didn't have them on the road to Woodstock.
Visibility is great from the swivelling front seats and manoeuvring easy, even onto the beach - although I did get it stuck in the sand; I'd forgotten it wasn't all-wheel drive (you have to pay extra for that).
Driving on the road was fine, with little cabin noise and a 0-100 time of 11sec from the two-litre bi-turbo diesel. The DSG dual-clutch box makes more sense on this than on a nippy little Golf. It's safe, too, with active rollover protection built into the stability control.
WHO NEEDS IT?
But there's a major problem: wee-wees. There's no toilet on board and forget about a shower. Now I don't know about you but the major advantage of a motor home is not having to queue up in the mud to use the outhouse. So it begs the question, who is this for?
A lot of surfers came sniffing around when we were doing the shoot and they loved it, until I told them the price. Then they said they'd rather have an old VW Combi.
I've asked people if they'd take it to Glastonbury and they'd prefer a tent (you can get closer to the stage). True outdoorsmen would use a battered Jeep and a rainsheet to sleep under.
So who travels light, doesn't need a wardrobe, pees in bushes and will happily live off chipolatas for a week? I've got it: naturists. There are millions of them in Germany, and you can't ignore a market like that. So next time you're overtaken by one of these with a shirtless bloke at the wheel, watch out. He's not shirtless. - London Daily Mail
TECH SPEC
Engine:
Two-litre diesel bi-turbo.
Power:
132kW.
Torque:
400Nm at 1500-2000rpm.
Top speed:
185km/h.
Fuel consumption:
7.9 litres/100km.
CO2 emissions:
205g/km.
Transmission:
Seven-speed, dual-clutch automatic.
Standard stuff:
17" alloys, anti-lock brakes, electronic differential lock, stability control with active rollover protection, traction control, aircon with separate heating for living compartment, eight-speaker radio/CD player, power tailgate and sliding side door, remote-controlled parking heater, electro-hydraulic pop-up aluminium roof, rear bench/bed, roof bed, two folding chairs, folding table, clothes cupboard and storage compartments, two-burner gas cooker, sink, cooler, 30-litre water tank
Extra-cost stuff:
18" alloys, awning, six-disc CD changer, cruise control, parking sensors, satnav, towbar, lane change assist, auto aircon, roof bars, bike/surfboard/kayak/ski holders.