It really does look better in the metal than in photographs, but it’s clear the humpbacked Porsche Panamera will never raise impressed eyebrows or drop awed jaws quite like sportscars from Italy.
But though it doesn’t rate high on the beauty-meter, this extra-large Porsche makes an ideal ride for rich execs who like ‘em big and bold and with maximum badge cachet. And the boldest Panamera of them all is the new Turbo S, nicknamed “The Beast” by the white coats at Porsche, which recently became the new flagship of Zuffenhausen’s luxury sedan line up when it was introduced in South Africa at a retail price of R2 110 000.
For those who find the 368kW and 700Nm of the standard Panamera Turbo just a little pedestrian, the Turbo S hikes outputs from merely wild to you’ve-gotta-be-kidding. By employing lightweight titanium and aluminium instead of steel in the turbocharger’s turbine wheel, along with a revised engine-management system, Porsche has hiked the 4.8-litre twin-turbo V8 engine to 405kW and 750Nm, with an additional 50Nm available on overboost during hard-throttle inputs.
That, in anyone’s language, is epic power and so it came as little surprise when this livid limousine sprinted to 100km/h in a chest-flattening 3.9 seconds when we tested it at Gauteng altitude - just one-tenth shy of Porsche’s sea level claim. And, on a long quiet road clear of Christmas-bonus-hunting speedcops, it’ll reach a heady 306km/h flat out.
The Turbo S impressively recorded the third quickest quarter-mile time we’ve measured yet - 12 seconds flat - but this brutal performance is couched in such silky refinement that you get a muted and somewhat detached version of the experience. The soft-spoken V8 makes a low-intensity growl, like a Metallica song played at very low volume. Perhaps most Panamera buyers are seeking just such a silk-coated missile, but I think a car that can demolish the 0-100km/h sprint in less than four seconds could muster a little more vocal emotion.
But oh my, what acceleration. Soul-stirring, bad-ass acceleration. And the all-wheel drive system, together with stability control, does fine work of making all that power as idiot-proof as possible, keeping the car pointing in a straight line without any lurid tailsliding or wheelspinning. The PDK seven-speed dual-clutch auto transmission makes a happy partner to the monster motor, firing through gears with slick precision - and yes, there are F1-style paddle shifters for those more playful driving moments.
At the press of a button to select either Comfort, Sport or Sport Plus mode, the big Porsche progressively morphs from a smooth-riding limo to an angry sports-tourer, stiffening the adaptive air suspension and adopting a more aggressive gearshifting strategy.
While delivering a relatively plush and bump-absorbing ride quality the Panamera is a cornering weapon that conforms to Porsche’s usual high standards. Grip is plentiful, and apart from the all-wheel drive and stability control, Porsche Torque Vectoring Plus (PTV Plus) is an electronically-controlled rear-differential lock which ensures maximum traction in every situation.
There’s also Porsche Dynamic Chassis Control (PDCC) which uses active stabilisers to quell body roll. Still, the Panamera’s bulky size and weight make it more of a sledgehammer than a nimble sword in really tight turns.
According to Porsche the S’s added performance comes with no fuel consumption increase over the standard Panamera Turbo, though the 17.9 litres per 100km our test car averaged won’t exactly earn Greenpeace’s stamp of approval.
Along with its Turbo S badging the flagship Panamera is visually identified by its 20” 911 Turbo II alloys and slightly wider rear track, while the electrically-adjustable rear spoiler is body colour instead of black. Red brake calipers (yellow, if you choose the optional ceramic discs) signify serious stopping power and it’s no false promise; the big car is capable of arresting speed in a big hurry.
As befits a two-million buck luxury sedan, the passenger compartment is a plush setting of créme de la créme luxury and top-notch features including a 585-watt Bose surround sound system. The body-hugging front sports seats attest to the fact that it’s a Porsche you’re driving, not a BMW 7 Series, but the leather-lined cabin is otherwise pure luxury limo. Rear passengers get plenty of leg- and headroom and the 432-litre boot’s large enough for the customary golf bags.
VERDICT
With mega power married to mega refinement, Porsche’s top-of-the-range gran turismo is the archetypal beast in a business suit.