Social distancing killing your sex life? Here's how to spice things up
As we are all adjusting to the new normal, a novel problem has risen its head. The Medium-Distance Relationship. How do couples who don't live together cope with social distancing, and more importantly, physical distancing?
Luckily, now more than ever, couples can enjoy a fulfilling sex life while adhering to social distancing rules. All you need to do is think outside the box and get a little creative. You can still have a lot of fun and maybe even broaden your sexual horizons a bit.
As with any other aspect of your relationship, excellent communication is vital if you're thinking about taking your sex life online. Whether you're planning on trying cybersex, phone sex, sexting or developing your intimacy in any other way, you're going to have to be open and honest with each other. Ask open-ended questions and be as detailed and descriptive as possible when discussing your needs and fantasies.
Some couples will be more comfortable jumping straight into full-frontal video nudity while others might want to be a bit more discreet. Be sure to set clear ground rules, discuss where your boundaries are and what you are comfortable with. Nobody wants to be the next Paris Hilton.
There is a multitude of different online platforms to choose from once you've decided to take the first step. Think Skype, Google Hangouts, Facetime, Zoom, WhatsApp, Video Calls, emails or even good old-fashioned text messages, to name a few. You can even send sexy letters via post if you want to go old-school.
Send sexy gifts
There's nothing sexier than receiving a naughty parcel from your significant other through the mail. It's always a good idea to let your significant other know there's something fun on the way but don't give away the surprise. You want to build some excitement.
Dark chocolate, sexy lingerie or underwear is always a great idea but don't be afraid to spoil each other a bit, there are some pretty amazing toys available that will keep them entertained while you are unable to.
Here are a few things you should try
● Make it a date. Plan ahead and set a time so that you know you will be able to give each other your full attention. As with any other date night, make sure you're prepared, and on time. Nothing kills the mood like a flat laptop or phone battery.
● Don't skimp on the virtual foreplay (or ever in real life). Build up the anticipation by sending sexy texts, photos or videos throughout the day before your date. Make sure your partner knows exactly how much you're looking forward to your date. Maybe drop a few hints on what you intend on doing with them.
● Take a relaxing bubble bath apart. This works exceptionally well if you're just starting out and not entirely comfortable with getting naked on camera yet. You can have alot of fun underwater while the camera is rolling. Just make sure your phone or laptop is fully charged and unplugged, you don't want to electrocute yourself.
● Give each other instructions. Once you're a bit more comfortable with performing in front of each other, take turns telling each other what you would like to see. This will also give you wonderful insight into your partner's turn-ons.
● Try toys. This works equally well over voice or video calls, and the aim here is to work your way to simultaneous climax slowly. To help you get there, we recommend something like the Lovehoney Mini Rabbit. A simple to use rabbit vibrator that covers all the bases but won't intimidate or break the bank.
● Make sure you have strong passwords on whichever platform you choose. ABC123 won't cut it.
● It's okay not to want to show your face when sending sexy photos or videos. Be warned that this gets trickier when you start video calling.
● NEVER use your work computer. In fact, it's safe to assume that the weird IT guy can see everything you do online. Big Bob is watching.
● Make sure your antivirus is up to date. If you're using Zoom, create a unique invitation with a password and don't use your personal meeting ID.
● Delete your intimate content often or store it in a safe place. Never upload it to the cloud. Remember, the internet never forgets.
It's a trying time for lovers. Two adages could ring true for you:
1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder; or
2. Out of sight, out of mind
I believe number one is the only number worth considering. Extended periods of separation is not natural, but don't let it get you down. Choose to stay positive, put your best foot forward and use the tools at your disposal to spice things up during these unprecedented times. In the end, love conquers all.
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