Tyfanee Fortuna, 24, from New Jersey, penned a hilariously honest post on Facebook about her foster dog, a chihuahua named Prancer.
Taking a rather unusual approach to the matter of finding the pooch a forever-home, Fortuna said she was at her wits’ end.
She opened the post with: “Ok, I’ve tried. I’ve tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound… palatable. The problem is, he’s just not.”
Although most pet adoption advertisements do their best to appeal to people’s softer sides, by using positive descriptive words for their foster pets- like “calm” or “gentle”, Fortuna opted to try something a little more controversial.
Her post was more of a desperate plea to the public: “There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there’s someone out there for Prancer, because I am tired and so is my family.”
The bug-eyed pup in question is a two-year-old rescue with caramel and white fur. He arrived in Fortuna’s care obese and wearing a cashmere sweater, with bacon, egg and cheese stuffed in his crate with him.
In the post, Fortuna says that this should have tipped her off for what was to come: “He was owned by an elderly woman who treated him like a human and never socialized him. Sprinkle in a little genetic predisposition for being nervous, and you’ve concocted a neurotic mess, AKA Prancer.”
At first, Prancer was quiet as he was still familiarising himself with his surroundings and coming to terms with his new place in a family that had seven other dogs and 12 cats.
However, as his personality began to emerge, so did his challenging ways.
“His first week he was too terrified to have a personality. As awful as it sounds, I kind of liked him better that way. He was quiet, and just laid on the couch.”
Now, his foster parents would describe him as something akin to “not a real dog, but more like a vessel for a traumatized Victorian child that now haunts our home”.
What sort of a family would this pooch suit? Well, certainly none with any men. “Prancer only likes women. Nothing else. He hates men more than women do, which says a lot. If you have a husband don’t bother applying, unless you hate him,” said Fortuna.
Of course, the little guy does have redeeming qualities. Like most dogs, he enjoys car rides, is housebroken, knows a few basic commands, and he’s quiet and non-destructive when left alone at home. And, as Fortuna put it, “even though we call him bologna face he is kind of cute to look at”.
With so many iconic quotes to choose from, the post has exploded online with more than 35k likes and 57k shares.
In a subsequent status shared a few days after reaching a viral audience, Fortuna thanked people for their amazing reactions. She said she was overwhelmed by people who reached out to her, as she considered herself to be the family disappointment.
A writer for Saturday Night Live called her “crazy talented” and a popular paranormal website has even offered compensation to write an article for them or be on their podcast.
Fortuna ended the second post by saying she wasn't sure what she planned to do next but that she was excited for the future: “I had that bio sitting in my notes for 3 days because I didn’t think it was good and didn’t want to be embarrassed posting it, lol.
“I’m overwhelmed right now, but I just… the universe works in weird ways. I’m so proud of myself.”